Often We miss things we have..!

I wonder, all the while, when you give a smile
Theres a strong feeling like, I have no where to go..
It fills emptiness,and pleases my head 
I'M too tender, don't ask me to show ..

--- Garima

Often when I am low and deeply drowned in my thoughts, I reach a peak where, I feel I am talking to myself, discussing my problems & solutions with the person who resides in me, I know I sound psychic, Some of you reading this will say “you need a doctor “
But sometimes it does happen.

 I talk thought I can’t hear anything. I don’t speak anything. Yet I do talk,and  very loud, so loud that things reverberate in my mind to find solutions, more often explanation, or dimensions and aspects of so many things going on around and with me they even show vague images, gestures of "what if" and "why nots"

There are times when I feel, as if I have always been waiting / desiring to be something else, becomes something... I am actually not or may be something I am on a verge of becoming. Waiting for a life that I would have. silly me :D


 When I was very small may be before 3rd standard I used to compete for the first position no matter for what it was, always challenged myself, though rarely succeeded, but before I could enjoy my success, I found myself in a rush to participate for the next level.

I Was...I guess, desperate! to know what’s next and what’s coming up for me.... The ratio of failure were much more than success, yet never lost the idea of waiting and desiring to grow up fast to reach out things faster. 

And then Once I bid adieu to school the modus operandi never changed. And now that I am working I look back and I feel all the while I was just waiting and here My life is passing, day by day, and I am waiting for it to start up with something new . I am waiting for that time, or may be that person, that event when my life will finally begin all fresh …… this is really funny!!!

 It’s not that I haven’t lived or enjoyed it , but there was something missing something that i wanted and I was waiting for that something which I missed or maybe I dint, I just dint understand whether I was provided by sufficient things or I just dint see them in my pocket.

And then after thinking all these stuff when I Slowly I reached out to an edge of my pocket and I found something which may be I had for a while but forgotten that it was still with me. I smile carelessly and now from nowhere my mind got a quote  searched who the author was as usual google uncle helped -- its john lennon
“Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans”

And while I smile I saw A person smiling back at me, a really beautiful unpretentious smile which made me pause and enjoy a complete confusing yet alluring moment I dedicate the above poem to that smile.

We are always left some small surprises in our pockets certainly we miss reaching out to them. No wonder we go searching for few happiness all along the world outside, perhaps we should also give importance to those small things which reside with us, which can always give u a cheerful push to continue the race.

--- Cheers
Garima singh :)

SPOUSE / ESPOUSE ;-)

So what’s your opinion on the guy; did you like him?

Though, I dint answer that question right away, or I can say I dint say anything, but the question did raise many more questionnaire in my mind...

"Am I ready for it"?
"Should I be answering this question"?
"Why not love marriage"?
"Will my answer, be right one "?
"What am I doing"?
“Why this early”?
.
.
.
.
And at the end "Why Marriage "?

Funny isn't it, and a way pathetic too because, being an Indian citizen marriage doesn't comes to you as a choice, it’s a compulsion. Sooner or later you are supposed to be married. While I was gazing over and over again on the compass of "Why Marriage”. I was amazed to find myself thinking so patiently and indubitably for the first time on something that made me overwrought on the first step.

People and your parents find you completely absurd if you ask this question, “Why marriage” is it necessity? They think that your perspectives are very much wrong, you are trying to be and behave like someone who don’t belong to their own roots, But I feel it’s necessary to ask question (like we were always taught in our early days of schools and colleges) ask questions to yourself before you start up with anything not cuz, you are trying to be against to it, but to get a better understanding on it.

it’s very much required for you to be sure about what you want and why. It’s better that you be familiar to all the pros and cons, than to be in an imaginative world and complain later about everything.

Marriage is a commitment no matter if it’s a love marriage or arranged, it’s a commitment between two people to accept few good and few 'not- so-good-things' about the other person and sacrificing some of our own beliefs. It’s a two sided barter system (you get things only if you give). Always be prepared for a worst case (Life is not a movie to be sure that everything’s going to be good, though you play lead in your story) and thereby you can be more cheerful, confident rather than expecting a complete optimistic role model in your partner and then getting hurt later when things don't go as you had expected it to be.

When I moved further into the context of “why marriage” I Looked at it as everyone does Marriage is nothing but a ways of transforming yourself from I to WE…
Till you are single you live your life on your own terms, the choices you make are all yours, your dreams, aims, aspirations, lifestyle … But when two people (couple) comes together they start up everything with a togetherness and Acceptance .

I feel I am thinking a way too much about it but somehow I feel I am in better place when compared to those who think about why I am married after getting into it. One should try to understand what marriage is – It’s a strive towards acme of mingling of two people from different background, lifestyles, taste, choices, and so many other things just because there is much more appeasing life ahead which would beyond ones individuality  a support system for rest of the life.

So Sooner or later whatever happens in this case would be good, all depends on the choice to trust. It’s never about love or arranged, what matters is you have to make it work cuz it doesn’t happens by itself. It’s never a one day show, rather It’s a very long journey of next 40 to 50 years where you may get bumping ride with not so good path at early stages, which may turn to a smoother highway.. Whatever comes up difficulties, darkness, narrow curvy lanes you need to be together to guide each other, praise, care and comfort each other after all it’s a long really very long way to go.

Winding up with a lovely quote I found

" A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person".

Ahem I really don't mind :-P

~cheers~
Garima singh. :-)